Blu-Ray Review: My Bloody Valentine 3D

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Anybody who has been following B.O.M.B. should know I’m a horror movie freak, especially slasher films.

They should also know I’m not very fond of remakes, and I have a weakness for 3D films.

My predisposition for 3D glasses and slasher films overpowered my aversion to remakes, so I took it upon myself to pick up a copy of My Bloody Valentine 3D for review.

My Bloody Valentine was originally produced in 1981 on a shoestring budget and an interesting premise. One part Friday the 13th ripoff, one part Scooby Doo mystery, it’s one of my favorite genre films. Although most of the gore was edited from the final release, the film obviously benefited from leaving much to the imagination.

Flash forward 28 years (has it really been that long?) and teen horror films have evolved.

The remake takes very few plot points from the original and loses focus on what made the original so entertaining: mystery and suspense.

In an attempt to incorporate a ‘twist’ ending that will leave the audience guessing, the filmmakers engage in the worst kind of fraud in a suspense title, they lie to you. I’m not going to spoil it for you, but the producers go so to cover their tails that they have a FLASHBACK to show you what really happened… and it’s not what they showed you in the original scene.

Acting ranges from flat to wildly melodramatic. There are some moments of comedic gold with some performances, but sadly, this isn’t a comedy. The lead role of Tommy Hanninger is portrayed by Jensen Ackles of Supernatural fame (I use the term loosely). You may remember Ackles as the ‘not Jared Padalecki’ character, also known as ‘Dean’.

I bring this up because Ackles has the same problem on Supernatural… okay, lied… I also brought it up because I think the name Padaleki is hilarious. Padaleki, Padaleki, Padaleki. I’m laughing over here, trust me.

Back to the point I was making, Ackles only has two gears. He does brooding, and he does mildly comedic. In My Bloody Valentine he was only afforded the opportunity to be brooding. My oldest daughter thinks he’s hot, though, and I guess that explains the casting decision.

From a strict ‘is this a good film’ perspective, I have to say that it is absolutely not… it’s not in the same room with ‘good’, and I doubt it’s in the same COUNTY as ‘good’, but you still might want to buy it.

Hear me out.

From a technological standpoint, this is the BEST LOOKING 3D FILM I’VE SEEN FOR THE HOME MARKET.

Rather than going with standard Red/Blue separation, Lion’s Gate shipped the disk with Green/Magenta separation. In layman’s term? Even though you’re wearing goofy glasses with colored lenses, color reproduction coming from the screen looks more accurate (to the human eye).

The Director of Photography also did a great job of keeping the cameras for each eye synched on objects of focus. What this means to you is less chance of a headache by the end of the film, very few ‘ghost images’, and nearly everything is in focus.

Future home video releases of 3D titles should use My Bloody Valentine as a benchmark… they should all look this good.

There are a few things I wish 3D films would eliminate, and My Bloody Valentine is no exception.

I don’t want to see things leap off the screen if it’s not appropriate to the film. Don’t drop a yo-yo or rope in my face, don’t throw a knife at the screen… just don’t. If you wouldn’t put the shot in a 2D film, it doesn’t belong in your 3D film either.

We’re all impressed enough with a GOOD shot in 3D that we don’t need a gimmick shot.

The other source of irritation is the use of primary colors. Just don’t do that either. They float funny, look like they’re glowing, and THAT’S when most people have trouble focusing. If you’re shooting the film in 3D, take the time to remove all primary colors from the scene, you’ll thank me later. The opening credits of MBV are bright red text, and I almost turned the movie off before the credits were finished.

To wind up the review, the extra features on the disk are robust and varied. A commentary, featurettes, gag reel, deleted scenes, and a host of Bluray Spec 2.0 interactivity give you plenty to mess with after the film is over. You also get a heavily DRM’ed digital copy of the movie if you’d like to have a portable version on your iPod or Zune.

From a technological standpoint, and from a person that loves 3D, it’s definitely a buy. If you’re a film enthusiast looking to add a good film to your library? You’re going to want to look elsewhere.

Buy My Bloody Valentine 3D [Blu-ray]

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1 Comment

  1. My wife thinks Dean is hot too. We are big Supernatural fans.


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